RE: Re: Sex Tips for Promiscious Pairs (was Practice: Pair Programming)

OK, I'm going out on a limb here.

 

I think that the sex ed paragraphs are invaluable.

 

I've been coaching by pairing for quite some time now. And sex has never ever crossed my mind, even when I paired with women :-)...

 

However, I've noticed over the last week that I've made extra sure that I do not cramp the personal space of either genderes... I keep evaluating the comfort level of my partners..

 

So, Kent has a good point here, even if the message seems totally not PC, it's a very important message. Actually, Kent made it in the most gentle of manners.

 

 Amir Kolsky

XP& Software

 

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From: Zhon Johansen [mailto:zhon-aS9lmoZGLiVWk0Htik3J/w@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Friday, November 12, 2004 6:45 AM
To: xpbookdiscussiongroup-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [xpe2e] Re: Sex Tips for Promiscious Pairs (was Practice: Pair Programming)

Hi Kent, you know I have the greatest respect for you. So I don't know
if my post stems from valor or foolishness.  (My reviewer said,  "I
admire your courage but not your wisdom.")

Kent Beck wrote:

>I wanted to address the issue of inappropriate feelings in the workplace,
>
Companies take discrimination and harassment seriously.  They have
training that takes hours and sometimes days.  Policies are created to
mitigate these types of problems.  Violation of these policies lead to
termination and lawsuits.  IMO, two paragraphs are insufficient to cover
this topic.

>and pairing provided a convenient place to put the discussion.
>
When I read the two sex tips paragraphs, I became angry and frustrated. 
Why do I feel this way?  Was it because I feel it distracts from the
goodness that is in Pair Programming and XP without offering any real
advice (stop pairing, talk to someone, masturbate:-) ).  Or was it fear
of HR's XP sensitivity policies?  Maybe it was it the missing advice for
dealing with inter-gender advances.

I still don't know how to feel.  I take comfort knowing I am not alone;
XP Agile Universe had the "the sex chapter" buzz:   "Was Kent involved
in a lawsuit?" "Is Kent saying women should not be on the team?"  "Is
this a joke -- he had /Sex Tips for Girls/ in XPE?"

>XP and pair programming didn't create the problem of sexuality in the workplace. Pairing, however, can accentuate the problem: two people, physical proximity, shared success.
> 
>
XP can also mitigate such foolishness:  working as a team, working with
different people every day, no two people working nights, all work is
done in an open space, spending more time with your family all without
an open discussion on sex.

I regret these two paragraphs in XPE 2nd Edition. I might regret this
post.  On the other hand, I've enjoyed the learning and successes XP has
brought me these past five years and look forward to many more. Thank
you, Kent.

Sincerely,

Zhon Johansen

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