Re: Re: Overstepping Qualifications [was: Practice: Pair Programming, Sex, etc]

Hi Ron,et al.

I may have been a bit confusing... I don't always feel
all those things... For instance, I don't generally
feel I'm a loser :)  These were the feelings that I
have had, some stronger than others, when I've had
occasion to read or receive some things that I have
perceived as advice that drifts afield of XP from XP
experts.

That said, regardless of what I feel, I always learn
something.  Something about myself (like why did I
react that way?), something about how others may feel.
I think these make a better coach and human.

And of course, that sounds like I am negating what I
just said about receiving advice.  Oh well.  I'm
human, and naturally nondeterministic.

Rest of my remarks are inline.

Chris.


> > * I feel naive.  Are things like this really
> > happening, and am just too ignorant to see them?
> 
> Things like what?


Sorry, things like what Kent said about intimate
feelings while pairing, others saying that a lot of
programmers live unbalanced lives, etc.


> > * I feel like a loser, I feel judged.  If I'm not
> > working out at the gym, or I'm working past 5PM,
> or I
> > enjoy playing video games and chatting online,
> > according to some luminaries, I'm not leading a
> > balanced life, and need to get out more.
> 
> I am a fat old man who eats too much, does too
>...
> 
> I hope that makes you feel less like a loser. 

I'd lie if I said I never compare myself to others. 
And as I said, this isn't my normal predisposition.

The times I've felt that way (and it's a mild
feeling)is when I've received advice in the form of
'The best people I know do X' or 'When I was at the
gym, I was thinking, most programmers don't even
venture out of doors...' - both implying (with some
truth) that I never do X, or go outside, etc.

This passes though, because I have decent self-esteem,
and typically know pretty much what I need to improve
(even if I don't do it).

I
<(At the moment, I feel
> like I'm mostly
> agreeing, in case that wasn't clear.)
> 

Clear.


> > * I feel like I'm an idiot. 

> All of us are idiots and don't do things that we
> should. 
> My guess is that feeling like  an idiot is a 
> precursor to learning. I hope so,
> anyway, since I feel that
> way a lot.

Completely agree.  For instance, one thing that I've
learned is that I know what kind of communication
causes me to shut out some learning.  Knowing this
will hopefully make me a better coach when I have to
bring up more challenging ideas.

So, I guess I learned something from Kent's now famous
paragraphs... Though probably not the thing he
intended.

Chris.

=====
---------------------------
C H R I S  W H E E L E R
Extreme Programmer & Coach


                
__________________________________ 
Do you Yahoo!? 
Check out the new Yahoo! Front Page. 
www.yahoo.com 
 



------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> 
$9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/nhFolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->