Re: Sex Tips for Promiscious Pairs (was Practice: Pair Programming)

Zhon-

I certainly hope you don't regret the post.  A dead fish should be 
addressed.  Your message resonated with me, as did Kay's.

Bringing developers together and having them collaborate will 
trigger all sorts of interpersonal issues.  It is good to see the 
focus on them.  That said...

I have yet to hear about sexual arrousal as an actual problem in any 
of the teams with whom we've worked.  This, of course, does not mean 
it isn't there.  It may be a dead whale that no one wants to 
discuss, but I would suspect we would have seen it somewhere if it 
were the primary concern when pairing.

In this description of pair programming, 20% of the words are 
devoted to the sexual arrousal issue.  For me, this is significantly 
out of balance and disconnected from what is happening out there.  
Ownership and recognition issues are much more accute and 
detrimental to the team in my observation.  

Are others seeing or sensing that this is a common problem that 
warrants that level of treatment in the pair programming chapter?

Lowell


--- In xpbookdiscussiongroup-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Zhon 
Johansen <zhon@x> 
wrote:
> Hi Kent, you know I have the greatest respect for you. So I don't 
know 
> if my post stems from valor or foolishness.  (My reviewer 
said,  "I 
> admire your courage but not your wisdom.")
> 
> Kent Beck wrote:
> 
> >I wanted to address the issue of inappropriate feelings in the 
workplace, 
> >
> Companies take discrimination and harassment seriously.  They have 
> training that takes hours and sometimes days.  Policies are 
created to 
> mitigate these types of problems.  Violation of these policies 
lead to 
> termination and lawsuits.  IMO, two paragraphs are insufficient to 
cover 
> this topic.
> 
> >and pairing provided a convenient place to put the discussion. 
> >
> When I read the two sex tips paragraphs, I became angry and 
frustrated.  
> Why do I feel this way?  Was it because I feel it distracts from 
the 
> goodness that is in Pair Programming and XP without offering any 
real 
> advice (stop pairing, talk to someone, masturbate:-) ).  Or was it 
fear 
> of HR's XP sensitivity policies?  Maybe it was it the missing 
advice for 
> dealing with inter-gender advances.
> 
> I still don't know how to feel.  I take comfort knowing I am not 
alone; 
> XP Agile Universe had the "the sex chapter" buzz:   "Was Kent 
involved 
> in a lawsuit?" "Is Kent saying women should not be on the 
team?"  "Is 
> this a joke -- he had /Sex Tips for Girls/ in XPE?"
> 
> >XP and pair programming didn't create the problem of sexuality in 
the workplace. Pairing, however, can accentuate the problem: two 
people, physical proximity, shared success. 
> >  
> >
> XP can also mitigate such foolishness:  working as a team, working 
with 
> different people every day, no two people working nights, all work 
is 
> done in an open space, spending more time with your family all 
without 
> an open discussion on sex.
> 
> I regret these two paragraphs in XPE 2nd Edition. I might regret 
this 
> post.  On the other hand, I've enjoyed the learning and successes 
XP has 
> brought me these past five years and look forward to many more. 
Thank 
> you, Kent.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Zhon Johansen





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