Re: Linguist jokes: At the pearly gates

And there is the version about presidents--The Devil looks at him, smiles
slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us."

At 01:21 PM 4/30/2004 -0400, Michael J. Smith wrote:
> On Friday 30 April 2004 12:34 pm, John McChesney-Young wrote:
> > Although technically off-topic, I'm sure quite a few list members
> > will enjoy this and a large sub-set could turn out a classicist
> > version without much trouble, if they felt so inclined.
> >
> > http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000837.html
>
> O rare Roman Jakobson! There is a version about Bill Gates:
>
>  Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being
> sized
> up by St. Peter.
>
> "Well, Bill, I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all,
> you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in
> America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do
> something I've never done before; I'm going to let you decide where you want
> to go."
>
> Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter said,
> "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly."
>
> "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
>
> So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters
> and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing
> and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect.
>
> "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see
> heaven!"
>
> "Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
>
> Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
> harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
>
> Bill thought for a quick minute. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St.
> Peter.
>
> "Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
>
> So Bill Gates went to Hell.
>
> Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire. When he
> got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in
> dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
>
> "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
>
> Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This
> is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't
> believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
> beautiful beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water?!???
>
> "That? Oh, that was just the demo."
>
> --
>    Michael J. Smith
>    ms@xxxxxx


Ling Ouyang
http://janusquirinus.org/