Re: 'You can never be strong enough'

cuma info aja neh, kalo gak salah ada buku john Gray PhD soal 
penelitian itu...

--- In ppiindia-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Nur Rochman" 
<marketing.kybi@xxxx> 
wrote:
> Setahu saya dari penelitian semoga nggak salah, rata-rata akal 
manusia
> laki-laki itu sembilan bagian rasional sedangkan satu bagian 
emosional
> sedangkan pada wanita itu kebalikannya sembilan bagian emosional 
dan satu
> bagian rasional, tapi nggak tahu kalau sekarang berubah.
> Tapi apakah itu menjadikan laki-laki lebih realistis dari pada 
perempuan
> atau sebaliknya harus melalui riset lagi.
> Siapa yang lagi kuliah dipsikologi bisa tuch buat dipelajari dan 
share ke
> kita, pengaruh gender terhadap tingkat realistis seseorang 
hehehe.....
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Oman
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: faris ahmad [mailto:tenabang_79@xxxx]
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2005 9:35 AM
> To: ppiindia-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: RE: [ppiindia] Re: 'You can never be strong enough'
> 
> 
> 
> Sori, out of topic. Saya punya pertanyaan, yang mungkin teman-teman 
bisa
> menjawab: Siapa yang lebih realistis dalam memandang hidup, pria 
atau
> wanita?
> 
> Nur Rochman <marketing.kybi@xxxx> wrote:Repot amat sich pake' bahasa
> inggris, perlakuan buruk perempuan olem kaum
> laki-laki didaerah timur tengah dan daerah lain itu nggak ada 
hubungannya
> sama agama tetapi pengaruh tradisi baik arab, jawa dll, bukankah 
agama
> samawi semua muncul dari timur tengah baik yahudi, nasrani dan 
islam jadi
> bibitnya dari lingkungan yang sama arab!!!
> So buruknya implemenmtasi suatu ajaran agama itu sangat tergantung 
dengan
> ulama dan masyarakatnya sendiri dalam menterjemahkan agama itu dalam
> kehidupan sehari-hari, agamanya sendiri sich nggak ada yang salah...
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Oman
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ida Z.A [mailto:abidin_ida@xxxx]
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2005 8:38 AM
> To: ppiindia-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: [ppiindia] Re: 'You can never be strong enough'
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do christianity and judaism truly offer women a better treatment 
than
> islam does?
> 
> i think, its not easy to search for and find answers (to these
> difficult questions). the first difficulty is the one has to be fair
> and objective.
> 
> 
> --- In ppiindia-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Carla Annamarie
> <Carla.Annamarie@xxxx> wrote:
> >
> > i think in many middle east countries where they re bound with
> customs and
> > traditions which men is the ruler, the superior-being and women is
> only
> > men's property, women is a weaker being (inferior) not an equal
> partner..,
> > since childhood her rights re determined by her familly (Father 
and
> > brothers), her familly will arrange her marriage with someone that
> she's
> > barely knew.., and after the married her husband is the sole
> proprietor of
> > her.., womens have a very fragile status, she's not protected 
under
> law,
> > bcs according to law her husband is her protector, so if she got
> divorce,
> > things becomes worse bcs socially she's an outcast from her 
familly
> and her
> > social community, dont ever think abt child support from the
> husband..it's
> > impossible, even she has to fight her right to keep her child..,
> > if many of them works indecent job liked a belly dancer..bcs they
> re lack
> > or less opportunity for them for a good job..esp bcs they re a
> divorcee..in
> > spite of that i admire them..bcs despite of terrible things that
> happened
> > to them, they survived..
> > perhaps they can never be strong enough to handle it by them
> self..but in
> > my point of view they can do better..they prove it that they 
really
> can do
> > better..without men..:))..
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> 
> >                       "Ambon"
> 
> >                       <sea@xxxx>         To:       <Undisclosed-
> Recipient:;>
> >
> cc:
> >                       03/23/2005 02:45         Subject:
> [ppiindia] 'You can never be strong enough'
> >
> AM
> 
> >                       Please respond
> to
> >
> ppiindia
> 
> >
> 
> >
> 
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >        17 - 23 March 2005
> >       Issue No. 734
> >       Living
> >
> >       Published in Cairo by AL-AHRAM established in 1875
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2005/734/li1.htm
> >
> >         'You can never be strong enough'
> >         As the number of single mothers continues to rise, Serene
> Assir
> > listens to accounts of tragedy, hope and heroism
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> ----
> >                Click to view caption
> >               Dina Sarhan explaining the fine points of cooking
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >         Egyptian tradition is such that few things are worse than
> being a
> > single woman -- except, perhaps, being a single mother. And though
> cases of
> > unmarried women single-handedly raising children remain rare in
> Egypt,
> > those of divorced or widowed women bearing the economic, social 
and
> > emotional brunt of parenthood are countless. Many take on the role
> of both
> > parents while the father moves in with a second wife, serves a
> prison
> > sentence, works abroad or completes up to three years of military
> draft.
> >
> >         "Problems are particularly acute in the case of women
> raising
> > children in economically depressed areas," Mona Shadi, programme
> > coordinator for the Association for the Development and 
Enhancement
> of
> > Women (ADEW) told Al-Ahram Weekly. "The women we reach out to 
often
> lack
> > all the basic guarantees to which the state entitles them. Many
> cannot read
> > or write, many others lack identity cards since they are 
registered
> under
> > the name of their former husbands, and thus they have no access at
> all to
> > the authorities -- never mind the ability to seek help."
> >
> >         "This world is a dirty place," 23-year-old Ashraqat, 
mother
> of
> > Shurouq, says with a mixture of fervour and despair. Ashraqat
> discovered
> > she was pregnant one month after signing her divorce papers,
> following a
> > brief but abusive stint of wedlock, during which her husband took
> advantage
> > of her economically even as he forced social restrictions on her.
> Now, she
> > lives in Cairo, having left her native village of Bilbis in the
> Sharqiya
> > district, but earns her living as a belly dancer in Hurghada
> nightclubs,
> > where she can work without the necessary documentation.
> >
> >         "I remember when he used to promise me we would make our
> dreams
> > come true," she told the Weekly. "Now I know the truth." (While we
> have
> > this conversation in a traditional coffee house, the owner shakes
> his head
> > at me disapprovingly, walking by; later he tells me off for 
sitting
> with
> > someone so "low").
> >
> >         Ashraqat went to school up to the age of 14, and was 
dancing
> > professionally by 15. The man she loved came from a better-off
> family, so
> > when she was married she imagined she would no longer have to 
dance
> (or
> > otherwise employ her body) to make a living. "But my husband would
> bring
> > clients into the house, then take the money afterwards. I had
> everything I
> > could possibly want, I even had a really nice mobile phone, but he
> took
> > control of my life and made me do things I didn't want to do.
> >
> >         "By the time I discovered I was pregnant it was too late.
> When I
> > told my mother, she beat me -- she'd been against the marriage
> since the
> > beginning. But she was to forgive me later on, and now she helps
> me. My
> > father, well -- he treats me and my daughter like strangers. 
That's
> okay. I
> > don't need anyone, I can manage without. Now you ask me whether 
I'd
> do it
> > all over again? No. I'd marry the person my parents choose, 
someone
> with
> > money. It wouldn't matter whether I loved him or not. This is no
> life..."
> >
> >         This bitterness, the sense of being excluded, Shadi
> explains, tend
> > to be incorporated into the way single mothers bring up their
> daughters --
> > an added problem. As if to confirm this, Ashraqat explains
> that "what I
> > teach my daughter is this: If someone picks on you, hit him. You
> can never
> > be strong enough." ADEW seeks to address this issue by holding
> programmes
> > for children as well as mothers, Shadi goes on to point out: "We
> frequently
> > succeed, but just as frequently we fail."
> >
> >         Ashraqat's experience, though an extreme example, remains
> broadly
> > relevant. "As a divorc¨¦e," she explains, "I am desired by many
> men, because
> > they know that I am not a virgin, and as a result they think I'm 
an
> easy
> > target. But everything I do," she pleads, "I swear, though I know
> dancing
> > is sinful -- I do it for Shurouq, so that when she grows up she 
has
> all the
> > things that I didn't have. I love her..."
> >
> >         Such an attitude of self-sacrifice is seen across the
> board. It may
> > be innate in all mothers, but it stands out with particular force
> in those
> > who undergo the most painful trials. "When the children's father
> passed
> > away," Um Sherif, 67, tells the Weekly, "my life was already
> difficult
> > enough. God, I had 14 children to take care of!" Eight were hers,
> the rest
> > her husband's -- by his first wife. "The youngest was just two
> years old.
> > Now," she says, "they all have homes of their own, and they are 
all
> happy."
> >
> >         Um Sherif lives in a semi-agricultural area deep within 
one
> of
> > Cairo's poorer districts. She can neither read nor write, but 
three
> of her
> > sons are electronic engineers in the Gulf, and two work in
> respectable
> > businesses in Cairo.
> >
> >         Hers is an impressive case: She fought against all odds to
> raise
> > her children, and she managed extraordinarily well. A strong 
woman,
> she is
> > proud of her achievements. "I never accepted help from anyone. I
> knew that
> > if my children were to be happy, I would have to do it all by
> myself. I
> > thought of remarrying, but when I saw how prospective husbands
> would seek
> > to interfere in the upbringing of my children, I decided against
> it."
> >
> >         But according to social perceptions, it is a misfortune 
for
> a woman
> > to remain unmarried. "Yes dear," Um Sherif says, defiantly, "but 
if
> you
> > listen to what people say, you'll find it impossible to breathe. I
> learned
> > this very early on in life. People love to interfere, but in order
> to
> > survive you must do what you feel is right."
> >
> >         That said, social prejudice cannot be ignored as a 
negative
> factor
> > in the lives of single mothers. "My sister is a teacher," Mervat
> told the
> > Weekly, "and has always been well-to-do. She divorced her husband
> following
> > an unhappy marriage, and brought up her son and daughter
> comfortably,
> > without experiencing pressure from anyone. It was her son who 
turned
> > against her in the end -- once he married, he started despising 
her,
> > cursing the fact that she chose to live independently."
> >
> >         Yet the principal problem seems to stem from an area 
beyond
> the
> > social, strictly speaking. A woman raising children on her own is 
a
> woman
> > without support in Egypt, and though this is increasingly
> acceptable at the
> > social level -- women gain in respect, particularly, as they grow
> older --
> > bureaucratic issues stand in the way of true emancipation. Tasks 
as
> banal
> > as renting a flat become a problem because business deals are
> usually made
> > with men. Registering a child under the mother's name remains
> legally
> > impossible.
> >
> >         "And now," Ashraqat says, about to set out for
> Hurghada, "I've got
> > to make sure I'm ready for the big lie: When the policeman wakes 
me
> up
> > while we're on the bus to ask for my ID, I'm just going to have to
> pretend
> > I'm too exhausted to fetch it. And as I'm not wearing any makeup,
> he'll
> > hopefully be taken in by the innocence of my expression. Let's 
just
> pray
> > he'll leave me alone."
> >
> >         Shurouq looks beautiful in the photographs Ashraqat shows
> me. To
> > this day, without an ID card, the mother is fighting out the case
> for the
> > custody of her child.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> >
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> >
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