Rich guy seeks girl, must be virgin: Read this ad

http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/01/23/news/journal.php


      Rich guy seeks girl, must be virgin: Read this ad  
      By Howard W. French The New York Times

      TUESDAY, JANUARY 24, 2006
     


     
      SHANGHAI It was only a matter of time before money transformed that most 
intimate of private domains, love and marriage, as it has almost everything 
else in this booming country. And it stands to reason that the shock of the new 
would be felt first here in Shanghai, the throbbing heart of Chinese 
capitalism. 

      It all began with an advertiser and a lawyer, sitting with a friend who 
had made his fortune in auto parts and was distraught over his recent divorce 
and unable to find a suitable new bride. Place an ad, said the ad man, half in 
jest, but the lawyer took him seriously and put an announcement in a newspaper 
about a billionaire seeking a virgin bride. 

      In China's currency, the yuan, a billionaire's worth shrinks 
substantially, to about $125 million. But that is still a lot of money, enough 
in this case to attract a flash flood of 600 applications, complete with 
photographs and detailed personal information. 

      That was whittled down to 100 candidates, of whom 20 were interviewed and 
one was selected, finally producing man and wife. 

      That first virgin bride ad campaign, which occurred two years ago, has 
given rise to a mini-industry: Hundreds of supposedly super-rich lonely-hearts 
and hordes of young women, often professing to be virgins and hoping to meet 
well-heeled men. 

      The lawyer, a 25-year-old Shanghai resident named He Xin, said he had 
already been approached by more than 50 billionaires and had been retained by 
several of them, including three he has found brides for, in a process that He 
said takes about three months from start to finish. Along the way, He has also 
found a bride for himself - a woman who was passed over by one of his clients. 

      Today, He proudly claims his work for billionaires has spawned a new line 
of law in China, lifestyle law, a personalized service catering to people with 
means. Not incidentally, it has spawned a debate, too, about rapid social 
change in China and especially about the changing place of women in society. 
Since the beginning of the economic reform era 27 years ago, perhaps no area of 
Chinese life has undergone more change than the mores of dating, love and 
marriage. 

      For centuries, Chinese practiced arranged marriages complete with 
dowries, leaving little place for Western-style notions of romance. 

      During the long decades of hard-line communism, these practices were 
updated with an infusion of Maoist social control methods. Work brigade 
commissars, rather than parents and clans, decided who could date and marry and 
who could not. Neighborhood committee bosses even had a say in the matter. 

      Only recently has the idea of living together unmarried gained limited 
social acceptance in China. 

      In a breathtakingly short period of time, though, sexual and romantic 
opportunity has sprung up everywhere in a society that still thinks of itself 
as conservative in such matters. Prostitutes work openly in almost every hotel 
in China. The Internet has made possible everything from online dating to nude 
Web cam dancing, sprouting a vocabulary all its own, like MBA, or married but 
available. Unsurprisingly, divorce rates in cities like Shanghai are 
skyrocketing. 

      When the newspaper Nanfang Zhoumo, or Southern Weekend, ran a report 
recently about billionaires seeking brides, online discussion groups were 
flooded with commentary from readers, often focusing on the matter-of-fact 
comments of one woman who applied but was passed over by a billionaire. 

      "Isn't the purpose of saving our virginity to get a good price?" she 
asked. 

      Many readers deplored the woman's response, condemning people like her as 
little better than prostitutes. "I'm also a well-educated woman with a good 
figure, too, but I hate this kind of thing," one reader wrote. "People's beauty 
derives from their inner qualities, not their virginity. Those girls have sold 
themselves like cheap merchandise." 

      Others ridiculed the billionaires. "If they think they can get a 
pure-hearted girl this way, they are really mistaken," wrote another 
commentator. "To me, the way people are taking virginity as a commodity these 
days is such a sad thing." 

      In an interview, however, another young woman, who had replied to a 
billionaire's ad but was passed over, offered a stout defense of her choice, 
one that amounted to a brief for personal and sexual freedom. 

      "Things are different from before because everyone has a right to 
choose," said the applicant, Wang Yue, who said that in a physical relationship 
feelings can always be developed later. 

      "It's very easy for me to support myself. Without men, my life wouldn't 
be hard. But if I'm standing on a giant's shoulder, I can see further." 

      The confusion over love, sex and marriage is probably a passing phase, 
one expert says. 

      "China is a society in transition, and for the last 20 years, people have 
been basically going after material things," said Yang Xiong, an expert of 
youth culture at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences. "Give it another 20 
years, and I would say very few people would pursue billionaires just for their 
money. Right now this seems like a fresh topic for discussion, but in 10 years 
nobody will give a damn." 

      Even in a China that is becoming more money-driven by the day, Shanghai, 
with its glitter and flash, has a very special reputation. The women of the 
city, in particular, are often spoken of as being driven consumers and the most 
demanding of wives. 

      In several days of interviews among young women here, though, it became 
evident that the billionaires out to buy love have their work cut out for them. 
One after another, young women said the verdict of their hearts was more 
important than the cost of their wardrobe or the weight of their purse. 

      "I have to take time to see if a man is quite suitable for me or not, 
because life is a long course," said Su Jie, 23, an airline stewardess as she 
ate a Korean barbecue with a friend. 

      "I can make money for myself, maybe not so much, but enough," she said. 
"It's more important to me that we understand each other." 

     






.: Forum Diskusi Budaya Tionghua dan Sejarah Tiongkok :.

.: Kunjungi website global : http://www.budaya-tionghoa.org :.

.: Untuk bergabung : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/budaya_tionghua :.

.: Jaringan pertemanan Friendster : 
budaya_tionghua-/E1597aS9LQAvxtiuMwx3w@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :. 
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/budaya_tionghua/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
    budaya_tionghua-unsubscribe-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
    http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/