Re: Excellent post on nonverbal communicators

--- In autismlist@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, "Tink" <tink_lecuyer@xxxx> wrote:
> Hope that Gail wouldn't mind that this is posted here.  I know 
there are
> many trying to understand the "how-to's" in the dynamics.  I had 
clipped
> this post a while back and thought it would be helpful to share.  
So, thanks
> Gail!  While her comments were directed toward thinking of 3 year 
olds, i'm
> thinking this is applicable to many age groups.
> 
> ~*~ tink
> 
> Begin:
> 
> Hello everyone
> I would like to add a few words to this discussion on helping a 
three year
> old use FC.
> 
> First of all I would like to preface my comments with a short 
description of
> my philosophy on communication, because it makes a huge difference 
where one
> is coming from. To me, communication is the passing of information 
from one
> person to another so that it is shared.  Thus, when I am working 
with
> anyone, I am not interested in a specific method of communication 
at all,
> but use everything and anything that the person is able to share 
with me in
> any way they use. My personal communication disabilities are not 
being able
> to use my vision to understand sign language, no matter how hard I 
try, or
> to keep up with the visual input of the very fast facilitators on 
the
> letterboards and speaking only the English language. These limit 
my ability
> to communicate with some people, but we usually find a way to 
share,  in
> spite of my limitations. My goal with people on the spectrum is to 
find
> communication methods that work for the individual I am trying to
> communicate with so that they can share their needs, their 
thoughts, their
> feelings and their knowledge with me. The goal is communication, 
not a
> specific method of communication. And since they have what is 
termed "an
> impairment in communication" we concentrate on what works for 
them, NOT what
> I, or any other typical person needs. One wonders at times who are 
really
> disabled in this world.
> 
> Steps for communicating with a 3 year old child:
> 
> 1. Lower your voice at all times when talking to them. Their hyper 
acute
> hearing often distorts our voices so that they cannot hear the 
words clearly
> and claim that it was no different to them than any other noise in 
the
> background. Don't whisper. The sss sounds are very uncomfortable 
when
> whispering but talk at a level just above whispering. Always make 
sure there
> are no noises between you and their ears that will interfere with 
your
> message when you are speaking to them. Don't ask them to speak 
louder, they
> are likely talking at a level that is comfortable for them. Meet 
it. If they
> talk very loud, this is likely how they hear you speak. Tell them 
it hurts
> your ears, and demonstrate talking softer. This is not about them 
trying
> harder. It's about meeting their auditory needs.
> 
> 2. Share the differences that they experience in life with them so 
that they
> get to know their own bodies and how these bodies react in our 
world. Tell
> them that they hear better than the rest of us, see better, feel 
things more
> on their skins, and have stronger senses of smell and taste, and 
that this
> makes the world uncomfortable for them in ways that it doesn't 
make it
> uncomfortable for us. They know this about themselves. They think 
we are
> like them and don't understand how we are able to cope with so 
much input so
> well. What no one tells them is that we are not coping with the 
same input,
> because our bodies are different than theirs. Sharing this 
information with
> them as early as possible, gives them the freedom to accept 
themselves as
> the wonderful people they are instead of reaching the point that 
they
> believe that they are bad, crazy, broken or stupid: the very clear 
messages
> that they meet in the world every day of their lives.
> 
> 3. Do not put them in environments in which they have to endure 
high levels
> of stimulation. Typical day cares, preschools, and so on can be 
devastating
> to these children.  If this is necessary, respect their use of 
restricted,
> repetitive and stereotypic behaviors as communication that they 
are in
> trouble. Allow them to use these behaviors to decrease the level 
of anxiety
> they are feeling. Talk to them about how well they are coping in a 
very
> uncomfortable world. The development of the brain from birth 
through to
> grade one depends completely on sensory input. The safer that 
input is for
> these children, the better the development. In the meantime, don't 
lock them
> away from the world in order to protect them. They need to be part 
of our
> world as much as any other child. Be flexible with the timing and 
the choice
> of environments instead of limiting where they go. For example: I 
live in
> Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which boasts that it has the largest 
shopping
> mall in the world, a mall that has all sorts of wonderful 
attractions that
> go beyond shopping. By taking our children there before 10 AM in 
the morning
> we can share this mall with them in a way that is safe for their 
bodies and
> allow them to get used to it. We would never, ever think of 
exposing them to
> it in the midst of the craze of Christmas shopping. That's 
torturing them
> for no reason at all. Any early intervention program should take 
place in
> the real world, not in one room, which becomes a torture chamber.
> 
> 4. Accept any form of communication they use, when they use it, 
and don't
> correct them or try to fix it in any way. Respond immediately. 
This gives
> them the impetus to continue to communicate. Constantly being told 
that
> their communicative efforts are wrong and have to be fixed, makes 
them give
> up.
> 
> 5. If they speak in garbled tones,  be aware that this is how they 
are
> hearing you speak. This is the language they are learning from 
you. Take
> responsibility for your own limitations and admit that YOU don't 
understand,
> in a soft voice. You taught them how to talk this way. Now you are 
expecting
> them to reply in a way that suits your needs. In other words you 
expect them
> to listen at one level, and then respond at another. It's like 
being
> bilingual. Amazingly, many of them actually do master this in 
spite of our
> stupidity.
> 
> 6. Give them choices in a way that they can respond. Put their 
clothes out
> and let them pick up what they want. Put out two juices and let 
them take
> the one they want. If they don't choose either, open the fridge 
door and
> offer everything and see what happens. It's not just about 
pointing or
> telling. Ask them to "show me" and then respond to their requests
> immediately, again without correcting their method. The more you 
do this,
> the more they will share with you. The more their communicative 
efforts will
> evolve and increase.
> 
> 7. Get them on the computer as soon as possible. Use games based 
on their
> interests. Help them use the mouse, or find a mouse that they can 
work
> independently. It doesn't have to be simple. I don't know how many 
children
> I have been with who can use a typical mouse on their home 
computers, but
> have never seen a finger mouse like I have on my laptop, and learn 
how to
> use it after I show them once.  Move from playing games to typing. 
Find
> games that information has to be typed in to continue, or adjust 
the games
> settings so that this is necessary. I have 2 year olds on the 
computer. The
> goal is to have them typing independently by they time they are in 
grade one
> and need to share their knowledge base, which they can do on a 
laptop in the
> classroom, if their fingers are too sensitive to print with a 
pencil.
> 
> 8.  Use hand over hand to do specific tasks that they haven't 
mastered yet.
> Be aware that their tactile response will affect how well this 
works. Tell
> them "let me show you how, or let me help you" so that it doesn't 
become an
> overwhelming. Respect their body language at all times and talk to 
them
> about what you think it is telling you. In the future, this may be 
very
> important in the implementation of fc.
> 
> 9. Answer the "why" questions of life. Typical three years olds 
spend this
> time of their lives asking hundreds and hundreds of questions 
every day,
> driving the adults in their world slightly crazy. But this is how 
they learn
> how the world works. 3 year olds on the spectrum have the same 
questions as
> the other children in their minds but their communication 
impairment stands
> in the way of asking them. So answer them anyway. Hang around with 
other
> three year olds to figure out what questions are asked. Or just 
share the
> way our worlds works in every way you can. This is probably the 
most
> important early intervention program you can put into place. The 
adults talk
> of the difficulty that they had figuring out how the world works, 
and the
> huge amount of time and energy they dedicated to this cause over 
time. We
> can help them if we choose.
> 
> 10. Lower the anxiety that they are dealing with in every way you 
can. As
> Jamie Burke stated when I was with him in Maryland last 
summer: "People
> thought I was a child struggling to learn to talk, but I was a 
child
> overwhelmed with anxiety. Once the anxiety decreased, the 
communication was
> easier." Figure out exactly what is going on with their sensory 
system and
> use whatever adaptations they need to meet their specific needs. I 
have lots
> of these if anyone is interested. Raise your expectations. No one 
does well
> when they are treated like they mentally incompetent, and these 
children are
> definitely not that. Meet their communicative endeavors, don't 
make them
> meet yours. Reduce the amount of stimulation that they have to 
deal with in
> the environments that they are in. Take care of any medical 
problems they
> have.
> 
> There is a huge outcry against a lot of the medical research going 
on, from
> many of us, because we don't want to "cure" autism. The biomedical 
concerns
> are not about curing autism, but meeting the needs of the 
individual body.
> The lower the pain and discomfort from within, the lower the 
anxiety, the
> higher the level of communication. We now know that there are a 
lot of
> gastrointestinal, immune system, and environmental toxicity issues 
going on
> with these people. Each is an individual. Each affected in their 
own way. If
> we can figure out these concerns, we give them the freedom to feel 
better
> which decreases anxiety level, which in turn leads directly to an 
increase
> in communication and social interaction and a decrease in the need 
to use
> the restricted, repetitive and stereotypical behaviors for calming
> themselves.
> 
> 11. If they are the type of children who watch and control videos 
with a lot
> of repetition, etc. pay close attention to what they are doing. 

They are
> sharing something about themselves. Then share what you know. For 
example,
> after visiting one child, I realized that all the video portions 
that he had
> chosen to watch in my presence had to do with "falling down". He 
also spent
> a lot of time throwing a variety of items down the stairs. The 
next time I
> was with him, I told him that I had realized what he was doing and 
I thought
> he was trying to figure out exactly how gravity worked.


LOL!!

he's talking about another kind of "gravity"


 I taught him a short
> lesson on the facts of gravity and the history of our 
understanding of it.

LOL


> He sat and listened very carefully to me without any of his 
behaviors. When
> I was done I talked about the loss of his grandmother as his 
mother was
> having a hard time dealing with her grief, and I wanted to make 
sure that he
> knew why Mom was crying so much and not take it personally. Then I
> apologized for taking so long to figure out what he was telling us 
about
> "falling down" and if he had anything else  to tell me I would try 
to
> "listen"as well as I could. He immediately went to the PEC board 
and got a
> picture of a lake and gave it to Mom. She guessed all sorts of 
water things,
> which were obviously wrong, and he went and got another PEC, this 
time with
> the truck on it.
> 
> We determined that he wanted to drive to the lake, and thus, in 
spite of the
> fact it was the middle of the winter, we decided to go. On the way 
we
> stopped for gas, and as we were waiting for Mom to do that, he 
worked with
> his CD player, first finding a song, and then finding a specific 
line and
> then finally playing it over and over and over again for me. 


these "whole environment communicators" often combine media in their 
messages and "conversations," to give them added breadth and depth



I don't
> remember the exact words of the line, but it had to do with supper 
cooking
> and daddy being home.


yah, and this whole sequence of amazing (tho not atypical) events 
was itself his "running commentary" on the issue he originally 
wished to discuss, which wasn't gravity, but dadity

his communcations concerning "falling down" addressed this interest, 
and then he arranged the rest of the events to "flesh out" his 
communication

very resourceful! as oz wood say


 His Dad had been working out of town for some time. I
> told him that I thought he was telling me he missed his Daddy and 
wanted him
> to come home. 

bingo


He stopped the repetition, so I think I got it right and he
> was calm and happy for the rest of the trip  (in spite of the fact 
that the
> road to the lake was filled in with snow so impassable) as I 
shared this
> line with his mother. The interesting thing about this process is 
the fact
> that he chose the lake as his PEC, not any of the places that we 
could visit
> in town. It gave him the time to find the line on the CD.


exactly, and it got you and mom's undivided attention


 Since we stopped
> for gas, we actually didn't need that time, but had we not, we 
would have.
> This is what true listening and accepting of communication 
entails. Since
> this happened with this boy, I have had the repetition of videos 
used often
> as a means of communicating something that is hard for the person 
to say
> independently.

 Echolalia is also part of this process. If you know the
> context of the line being quoted, you can figure out exactly how 
it fits in
> the present context. But you have to make the effort, and also 
accept
> communication, not fix it, or you won't get this far.


once they trust that you believe in their ability to communicate, 
and in their innate intelligence, they will increasingly make the 
communications more complex, pointed, and often personal


> 
> 12. Don't treat them any differently than you would any typical 
child. Don't
> force them to sit in chairs. Don't force them to look at things. 
Don't ask
> them the same question over and over again. Don't ask them 
questions that
> you already know the answer to and so on and so on. Teach them 
naturally and
> respectfully. The inability to sit for long periods of time, and 
the
> resistance to look directly at something is an indication of a 
sensory
> problem, not something that needs to be "TAUGHT".
> 
> I apologize for this being so long, but I don't think we can just 
assume
> there is one easy answer for anything as important as 
communication. I hope
> this is helpful.
> 
> Sincerely
> Gail Gillingham
> Autism Consulting Service
> Edmonton, Alberta, Canada,
> Author: Autism Handle with Care
>  Autism, A New Understanding
> and co-editor with Sandra McClennen  of Sharing our Wisdom, a book 
of 22
> different presentations of the experience of autism from those on 
the
> spectrum.


fine post




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