RE: Re: Fwd: [AutDads] True measure of QB's heart found at home, Flutie family faces challenge of autism

On Behalf Of remarksman
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 1:07 AM

He cannot swim,
so he
> > must
> > > > be supervised near water at all times.
> > > >
> > > > This past summer, Dougie was sitting in the hot tub when he
> > suddenly
> > > > popped out, scooted down the slide of the family pool, and
> > plopped
> > > > into the water without his life vest on. Alexa quickly
pulled
> > him to
> > > > the surface; her brother, quite pleased with himself, merely
> > grinned
> > > > at her.

 

 little manipulator!

 

*** I think we need to be very careful of projecting motive here.  It was good that you pointed this out as it is a common problem in viewing certain types of interactions --- especially with LF auties, particularly for those unschooled in findings of motor function and level of awareness in some environments.  Again, see Ralph Maurer's research at www.autcom.org.  

 

This reminded me of some of the things Ben's teachers would project when he was having a hard time focusing in reading circle and couldn't sit still as commanded.  He needed the OT swing to keep him present at the time, but he wasn't provided with it. And would consequently melt down.  Then it was, of course, according to them:  "manipulation" to get into the OT swing. 

 

The other thing Ben does sometimes is gets completely wrapped up in the pure unadulterated abandon of that "freefall" tummy feeling. Joyful and completely without regard for potential. He'll jump high & fast on my bed without caution at all for the potential consequence of hitting the floor by missing the trampoline he pulls over to catch himself.  It's a complete giving to the moment for him and, of course, .. I've fortunately been nearby to catch him when he misses.  He always grins & squeals like that *because* he so enjoyed it the pure exhiliration.  He doesn't always understand consequence.  I doubt very much that he'd keep doing that if he hit the floor one time.  It's like the teachers/others who will say "look .. he can take his own socks off.  yes, sometimes he can .. when motor function and neuro function are concentrated.  At other times, he really cannot.  He needs the touch, the assistance with carrying out the action. 

 

Remember the day at the beach, ray?  He ran headlong into that ocean w/o regard for anything or anyone around him.  And went he hit the water ... he immediately sat down and started to squeal and EEEE! to the rocks & water.  Completely & totally focused on whatever his requirement was.  We were lucky it was shallow water.

I think most of the rest of your commentary was fairly good.  Many parents and family members go through the stages that the Fluties are experiencing.  It doesn't make them bad people or parents.  They have to learn too.  Hopefully, they'll continue to learn, take out the "boo hoo" spin to gain public sympathy, and accept Dougie as he is. Maybe they'll read Char's book and Ben's book that we sent to them 3 years ago.   Maybe Dougie will never use FC or speak, but I think he's telling 'em that he's juggling the personalities & emotions of everyone around him and saying "look at me! .. i'm here and i'm damn good just as I am!"  ;o)

 

Notes Ben:

 

"You and I must make a pact.  We must bring salvation back.  Where there is love, I'll be there.  I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have Faith in all you do.  Just call my name, and I'll be there."

[from I'll Be There/J5]

 

I think Ben speaks to all of us in this song.

 

g'day, All

 

~*~ Ben & Tink

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: autismlist@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:autismlist@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of remarksman
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 1:07 AM
To: autismlist@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [Autismlist] Re: Fwd: [AutDads] True measure of QB's heart found at home, Flutie family faces challenge of autism

--- In autismlist@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Tom Smith <qim@xxxx> wrote:
>
>
> --- remarksman <remarksman@xxxx> wrote:
>
> "the Fluties are WAY bought into the research/behavioral/pathology
> model, and that's all that's holding up the Show, not Dougie
>
> like many many parents, they want him as he was, and as they
expect
> him to be, not as he is, can be, and will be"
>
> Bingo.  It was the Fluties and parents like them that saddled us
the
> past ten years with ABA and ABA's practitioners unholy war against
FC.

eh, i'm not ready to toss that ded fish on their porch

it was a "group effort"


> It will be difficult if not impossible to convince these parents
that
> what they did and what they supported was the exact opposite of
what
> they should have done.


not the exact opposite, just some mistakes, like everyone -- and
lotsa bad advice from vested interests


>
> They thought they knew better when the fact is that anyone with
basic
> knowledge of IQ sees plenty of evidence in auties behavior of at
least
> the possibility of high IQ.

>  That of course makes FC more than a
> disirable intervention, but a must.
>
> Flutie was a huge disappointment not only in the autism community
but
> with my home team the Buffalo Bills.

dunno bout the former, no to the latter


  He was all set up to be the
> champion of the underdog.  What happenned?
>
> Tom
>  

he's still set up, else he wouldnt have that kid

he threw the alltime Miracle Pass of college football for BC, way
back in, well, BC

i expect Dougie'll bring him around eventually

>
>
> > --- In autismlist@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Tom Smith <qim@xxxx> wrote:
> > > ''I believe Dougie can understand the majority of what we're
> > saying to
> > > him," Doug said. ''I just don't think he's able to respond.
> > >
> > > I think the elder Flutie is making progress.
> > >
> > > Tom
> > >
> > > --- gammicca@xxxx wrote:
> > >
> > > > To: <AutDads@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> > > > From: <gammicca@xxxx>
> > > > Date: Sun, 24 Jul 2005 17:45:57 -0400
> > > > Subject: [AutDads] True measure of QB's heart found at home,
> > Flutie
> > > > family faces challenge of autism
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > True measure of QB's heart found at home
> > > > Flutie family faces challenge of autism
> > > >
> > >
> >
http://www.boston.com/sports/articles/2005/07/24/true_measure_of_qbs_
> >

---

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