Another very fine tribute to Patricia Clark

[from Sunday ~ 7-17-05]

http://neurodiversity.com/weblog/article/6/farewell-friend--patricia-e-clark
-1944-2005

Patricia E. Clark died this morning of complications from a stroke.

She was Recording Secretary for the Autism Society of America?Georgia
Chapter, and a contributor to the book, Women from Another Planet, an
anthology of writings by women on the autistic spectrum.

A memorial page for Patty is now evolving at
http://home.mindspring.com/~jradin/patty/home.html.

I will miss her, and I will miss her insights. Here are some of those
insights, culled from newsgroup posts she made over the past few months:

On autistic children?s potential and how we affect it:
?I think it?s important to have children with ?differences? hear themselves
referred to in ?normal? ways and not always in the third person. Once you
start stepping out of this ?all kids learn as they grow up? scenario
verbally, the child is learning that he IS a handicap or that he can?t
expect a normal life.?

On empathy and realism:
?People deserve to have their feelings validated. Saying ?I am exhausted and
I feel like no one cares about me? calls for emotional support and also
helpful suggestions for tomorrow. No one can work themselves to exhaustion
and confusion every single day and always stay chipper and upbeat and perky
about their situation!!! Our best hope is to return to that state in the
morning.?

On vaccines and autism:
?I get a tetanus booster every 10 years, and I have NOT noticed that they or
flu shots make me ?more autistic.? I notice that I don?t get tetanus or flu,
however.?

On the apparent increase in numbers of autistics:
?The increase is in educational services. It has no relationship to the
quantity of autistics ?left over? from before the educational law went into
effect.

?Before that date we were simply not educated because we were considered
?not worth the trouble and expense.?

?Odd how clearly I remember those years, ducking the teachers who sensed my
discrepancies and tried to get me out of the educational system. Odd how so
few of us managed to get enough education and orientation to society without
the law behind that no one but me is here to tell the truth.

?HERE I AM!!!!!?

On ?beliefs? about autism:
?I believe that as soon as belief becomes a factor in the diagnosis, care
of, relation to, etc., of a condition or disease, reason goes out the window
and we are all the primordial proto-people hiding in a cave from the
darkness.

On diagnosis in adulthood:
?It?s hugely useful. If nothing else, it justifies their lifelong struggle
to measure up to what everyone demanded/expected of them and they didn?t/
couldn?t/ wouldn?t produce. It?s such a relief to know you are not a bad
person for being yourself.?

On growing older:
?When a woman reaches a certain age, even if she is autistic, it becomes red
hat and purple dress time and one forgets to mind every last one of one?s P?
s and Q?s and be totally polite and vapid and ineffectual. I shall be
Eccentric and noisy.?

On the world as it is today:
?What is going on is that modern life is too stressful?

?It isn?t your kids that are the problem. It?s the way we require people to
be islands of strength and don?t support them as either children or adults.

?It?s having to be perfect as an employee (able to be the CEO of your
company even if you only want to do a clerk?s job).

?We need a drastic overhaul of our civilization?s outlook and priorities.?

?The essence of total denial operating in society (is) to prevent taking
care of business as it needs taking care of.?

On interventions and maturation
(This was Patty?s last substantial post to the St. Johns list.)

?What people don?t ?get? about autism, and that allows ?curebies? to profit
immensely from the panic of parents, is that WE DEVELOP.

?We don?t keep regressing. We start working around our deficits and making
progress in our own unique ways.

?It?s ?normal? for a diagnosed autistic child to begin to progress whether
or not he/she receives costly interventions.

?Apparently some kids with autism are not able to connect this way and
progress on their own. ome need more help. And from what I read, there are
some or many who do not seem to progress at all, or else the difficulty is
so great/ frustration/overload is so appalling, that they just get all
defensive and cannot deal with the training.

?However, most autistics progress with reasonable teaching efforts, and most
speak by the time they are nine years old. Most are not retarded?merely
unable to deal with IQ tests the same way that neurotypical children are
able to deal with them.

?It?s possible to push an autistic too hard and induce a regression through
panic, overload or whatever is stressing the child/adult with autism.
However, it is NORMAL for us to gain skills and abilities as we age.

?By the way, I was diagnosed autistic in 1950. I am still autistic. Nothing
changed in the interventing 50-plus years except that I have learned to work
better with my disabilities.

?Final word: ideally, a diagnosis is a neurological assessment, not just a
compendium of ?behaviors.? In that case, it will serve you well in mapping
?where to go from here.? If it?s only behaviorally-based, it?s not much help
and means little.?

Thank you, Patty.